Posts tagged comparison
Enough

:: to the one struggling to feel like you are enough ::

Dear individual feeling like you’re not enough,

You are not.

Now breathe a deep sigh of relief with me.

Because you were never intended to be.

***

You see the images and the statuses plastered around your social network, well intentioned and meant to encourage you, telling you that YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. !

You want so badly to take heart with that mantra, to find empowerment and belief in yourself through it…but instead, you find yourself wondering…am I?
What makes me enough? What am I enough of? And to whom?

You’re weighed down by the questions of how many aspects of your life this should apply to? And where does that leave personal development? Should you stop trying then? Or is it in your trying that you’ve reached this nebulous state of being ‘enough’? Who is determining the enough that you are?
If you are enough socially, culturally, then why don’t you feel like it?
If you are enough individually, then why are you still struggling to own it?

Sometimes it’s not even enough to just be enough.
You are occasionally given the assurance that you are *more* than enough!

I don’t know about you, but I was finding it difficult just to wrap my mind around the concept that being enough of anything or everything to anyone or everyone was something actually attainable. Which makes this idea quite intimidating that I’m surrounded by powerful individuals who aren’t just enough. They’re more than enough…
How do they do that?!

I don’t even know how to be just enough or what I’m supposed to be enough of or how many people I should be enough for. Just myself? My husband? My kids? My extended family? Friends?

And what happens when the notion that I should be enough collides with the realization that I can’t possibly be everything to everyone?
Why does the idea of my perceived ability to be MORE than enough leave me feeling more like a failure than a fortress?

Instead of empowering me with freedom and independence, I find this concept chaining me to the perfection complexion I’ve been battling for what feels like my whole life, encouraging me to think that I am fully capable of being everything I want to be to anyone I want to be it to… and then feeling completely deflated when that comes crashing down around me because it just. isn’t. true.

Maybe I’m the only one who’s struggled with this.
But just in case I’m not.

I thought I’d share with you the clarity that I’ve received over why this  “You Are Enough” movement has been bothering me.

It’s not the people  I see promoting it — they are loving and encouraging and beautiful and talented and driven, trying to be a positive force in a broken world!

But if you read the memes and you feel less than encouraged, then this letter is for you.
Even if you love the memes and you have the tattoo and you totally get what’s trying to be said, this is for you too. Because my guess is that at some point you will come to feel like you aren’t measuring up or like you don’t even understand the standards by which you are being measured, let alone how it is you’re doing.

Can I tell you a secret?
A beautiful assurance that at face value seems harsh but brings with it so much grace and beauty…

You are not enough.

And that is okay.
In fact, it’s more than okay.
It’s intentional and God-breathed and it may be the most freeing realization you’ll ever have.

Are you independent?
I’m sure.
Can you do hard things?
Absolutely.

But you were not meant to do this life thing on your own.

You were designed to be in relationship with a loving Creator, merciful Savior, empowering Holy Spirit, all sustaining God! Called to a higher purpose than you can achieve alone, meant to walk this life in community with others — pulling the best out of one another, holding each other up through the hard times, celebrating together through the good times, learning to love like Jesus more and more each day, and all for the glory of God. To be a disciple and to help disciple — to love and to be loved.
In a culture that worships independence, it’s a radically counter cultural mindset — it is intrinsically relational. We cannot do it alone.
That weight is man made.
It is not for you to carry.
Only HE is enough.
And only through Him will you ever find the fulfillment and satisfaction and wholeness you crave.

I would love to see a movement that tries to teach our sisters and our daughters — ourselves — that WE are HIS and THAT is ENOUGH.

I am not enough.
but —
I’m with Him.
And He is ALWAYS enough.
MORE than enough.

He is the Alpha and the Omega.
The Beginning and the End.
The Creator and the Sustainer.
The Author and the Perfecter.
HIs name should be bold on the binding *and* inscribed within.
This is HIS story.
It’s by HIS grace we are saved.
By HIS hand we are delivered.
By HIS Holy Spirit we are ordained, anointed, appointed, and fueled.

That is a truth worth declaring.
Louder than any other declaration my heart longs to make for itself.

It can be a struggle, to get out of my own way and to give HIM the glory and the honor and the power. But that’s why I need a tribe who isn’t afraid to tell me that I’ll never be enough — and to show me how stunningly beautiful that is. So today, I hope to be that person for you — who helps you to walk in the freedom that there is a Redeemer Who is more than capable of supplying all your needs and of doing more than you could ever ask or imagine on Your own. His grace is sufficient for you. His power is perfected in your weakness. You don’t have to be enough. He’s got you covered. ❤

Guest Contributor:

Andie Fair.jpg

Andie Fair is the starry-eyed wife of her high school sweetheart, Executive Creative Director of Chaos to their kiddos, a quirky, open-door homemaker with a soul wired to explore the unknown, a heart crafted to lead with love, and a second mug of coffee forever in the microwave. She’s a certified health coach, aiming to make healthy living easier for families and a volunteer disciple maker who gets her thrills guiding others to engage in an active relationship with their Redeemer. She writes randomly and strives to live intentionally. 

Staying in the Lane God has Assigned Us

From a very early age, I trained as a runner. As early as first grade all the way through high school, I ran every track meet, from sprints to long distance.  One of my favorite races was the relay races which allowed us to move from competing individually to competing as a team. Regardless of the race being run, one thing was consistently drilled into our heads as competitors: STAY IN YOUR LANE.  

The moment your foot steps across the white line and you veer into someone else's lane you would be disqualified. Why was it so important to not step across that little white line on the hot Texas asphalt? Stepping across the line interfered with the other runners, potentially cause them to trip and fall. Staying in our own lane provided a safe place that allowed us the freedom to do what we had been trained to do, run our race to the best of our ability. 

One thing I learned quickly is that my eyes had a tremendous amount of power over the rest of my body.  By glancing to the left or right or looking over my shoulder to check the distance of the girl in the lane next to me, I would cause my feet to stumble and risk stepping over the line, disqualifying me from the race. My coach would always say to us, "NEVER look over your shoulder, run your own race."  By keeping my eyes straight ahead, I kept my eyes on the prize of that finish line. I was not distracted by those around me; I was motivated, but not distracted. 

I don't know about you, but often times I struggle to keep my eyes on my own race, more often than I would l would like to admit. I take my eyes off of my own race as a mother. I begin to look at how other moms parent their children, or how successful their life appears juggling and multi-tasking the demands of a busy family.  It is particularly hard when I see someone a few steps ahead of me in a season of life; I begin to unfairly compare my life to hers.  

Social media and the world of comparison we live in with "selfies" and documenting the highlights of each day taunts us constantly. It is as if the runners around us flaunt the fact they are running the race better and faster. We become distracted and consumed and our eyes begin to wander. 

Fearing that I am not measuring up to those around me, comparing my parenting to another, and shrinking in insecurity that I can't "do it all," I take my eyes off of my own race. I risk my own race by looking at those around me. I must stay in my own lane. 

Living in the world of comparison paralyzes us from living and living well. The insecurity and comparison tend to fade away when we realize the calling we have before us in the assignment of our own children. My job as a mother becomes my own priority, and I can’t compare myself to you and how you are doing as a mom. I must begin to learn to navigate how to stay in my own lane. I must stop comparing, and begin running in my own lane and own it.

Fear breeds insecurity. Insecurity breeds comparison. Comparison takes our eyes off of Jesus. When I can keep my eyes on my own race, I become consumed with running my race well. I keep my eyes on the finish line when my life is over and I hear my Father say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." My eyes are on eternity. I have a place of influence in the lives of my three daughters and an opportunity to point them to Jesus cheering for them to keep their eyes steady on what God has placed before them. As a family, we are running life as a team, not as individuals.  One day, I will pass the baton off to my girls as they are the next generation. When our eyes are on the finish line and our eternal home with our Savior Jesus Christ, we no longer are distracted or worried about where we are in the race.  Our goal is just to run our race well. Comparison leaves. As I learn to stay in my own lane, I can cheer for you as you run your race. 

Excerpts of this post are from The High Calling of Motherhood by Chimene Shipley Dupler.